ould talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afra

These are the words which have been spoken time and again from seemingly well meaning females whom I thought were into me for who I am, not what I could be.

The promise I made to myself to never become hurt again by these words was to be accomplished by enclosing myself inside of a “wall” built from past pain (heartbreak).

I went against my will (knowledge, from experiences past), and allowed a woman to penetrate this wall I had built to keep me (my heart) safe.

On one hand I do not regret granting her the permission I gave her to gain access to me (my heart), yet on the other hand I do. My regret comes from the fact I should have known from my past (which I thought I did, after all this is what I had erected this wall of safety for) and from looking at her track record for “dumping” men in her own life (like they were on a lazy-Susan turn table and it was spinning extremely fast).

The part I do not regret is I really did fall into deep like and then into real heartfelt love for this woman. It was not a physical attractive at first, what attracted me most was her mind. Sure she is a good looking woman, but her straight-forward mentality, fun; outgoing and witty characteristics are the real part of her I fell in love with at first.

Truth be told, she is not the most physically attractive woman by far! She is OK; she is not a 10 on a scale from one to ten. Even if she was a solid ten in the physical department, she wears enough clothing to make any father secure in knowing his daughter is not eye candy from the chin down.

I vividly recall chatting for endless hours on the phone and in-person with this woman, she has a smoothly, feminine voice which makes me drunk with reason. We would talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afrai

all I had built to keep me (my heart) safe.

On one hand I do not regret granting her the permission I gave her to gain access to me (my heart), yet on the other hand I do. My regret comes from the fact I should have known from my past (which I thought I did, after all this is what I had erected this wall of safety for) and from looking at her track record for “dumping” men in her own life (like they were on a lazy-Susan turn table and it was spinning extremely fast).

The part I do not regret is I really did fall into deep like and then into real heartfelt love for this woman. It was not a physical attractive at first, what attracted me most was her mind. Sure she is a good looking woman, but her straight-forward mentality, fun; outgoing and witty characteristics are the real part of her I fell in love with at first.

Truth be told, she is not the most physically attractive woman by far! She is OK; she is not a 10 on a scale from one to ten. Even if she was a solid ten in the physical department, she wears enough clothing to make any father secure in knowing his daughter is not eye candy from the chin down.

I vividly recall chatting for endless hours on the phone and in-person with this woman, she has a smoothly, feminine voice which makes me drunk with reason. We would talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afra

able and it was spinning extremely fast).

The part I do not regret is I really did fall into deep like and then into real heartfelt love for this woman. It was not a physical attractive at first, what attracted me most was her mind. Sure she is a good looking woman, but her straight-forward mentality, fun; outgoing and witty characteristics are the real part of her I fell in love with at first.

Truth be told, she is not the most physically attractive woman by far! She is OK; she is not a 10 on a scale from one to ten. Even if she was a solid ten in the physical department, she wears enough clothing to make any father secure in knowing his daughter is not eye candy from the chin down.

I vividly recall chatting for endless hours on the phone and in-person with this woman, she has a smoothly, feminine voice which makes me drunk with reason. We would talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afra

the most physically attractive woman by far! She is OK; she is not a 10 on a scale from one to ten. Even if she was a solid ten in the physical department, she wears enough clothing to make any father secure in knowing his daughter is not eye candy from the chin down.

I vividly recall chatting for endless hours on the phone and in-person with this woman, she has a smoothly, feminine voice which makes me drunk with reason. We would talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afra

ould talk about everything and anything, nothing was left to chance. Though I was very much enclosed in my protective barricade to shield me from the harmful affects of a woman hurting me ever again, she slowly began to chisel the brick from the wall; I securely called home for several years.

After careful review I now see a pattern she has kept for almost her entire life. She is searching for ‘the right” one, yet she is afraid to let someone “all the way in.” I am unsure if it is from past experience and or just her own fears of what the future may bring. She enjoys “flirting” with many men, and to my knowledge from keen observation does not see how the majority of men really view her. They enjoy the stimulation of flirting with her, due to the simple fact they have to make no solid commitment to her and for them she is just another (hopefully) sexual conquest.

She enjoys all of the attention from males (though she acts if it does not affect her at all), deep down I believe almost everyone desires to be wanted, appreciated and patronized by someone special in your life. The way men stare at her is for sexual conquest only; I have yet to witness a male whom talks with her without there being any type of “flirtatious” sexual tones over-powering true like for her and possible chemistry which go beyond physical attraction.

I have stated this to her on several occasion, yet she refuses to believe this is the case. There are a few times she voiced she felt this from some men, but over all she will say they were just being friendly, it was just a flirtatious gesture, etc. When I attempt to bring to her attention the fact a man was “hitting” on her for more than just friends and coffee she refuses to believe these points.

I have looked at my self on several occasions to be sure it is not jealousy on my part, after vigilant observation I know it is not jealousy. I do not feel jealousy toward her, I truly love her very much and if a man would come into her life who actually cared for her for who she is and not who she could be, I will be extremely supportive and happy for both of them.

Sure, sure, the age old story …”I l