Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanti

"The little foxes are ruining the vineyards. Catch them, for the grapes are all in blossom." —Song of Solomon 2:15

Often, when we evaluate our own contribution to our relationships, we focus on the big things: Well, I must be a good husband / wife / partner (choose one!) because I don’t cheat / gamble / run around / lie / resort to physical violence (choose one or more!), and we congratulate ourselves. And it is true that we are wise to avoid these major problems.

But there are also “the little foxes” that seem to be so harmless - even cute - which can do major damage to our relationships. Foxes are members of the dog family, which we think of as being carnivorous; however, foxes eat, in addition to meat, vegetable matter, especially fruit. Imagine the damage to a vineyard that a litter of little fruit-loving foxes can do!

You know the couple: always the life of the party. Always the center of laughter. Such fun they are. We’ve all heard, “And then do you know what Mary did? She has this bad habit of (your choice, again!).” And often, what Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanti

ose one!) because I don’t cheat / gamble / run around / lie / resort to physical violence (choose one or more!), and we congratulate ourselves. And it is true that we are wise to avoid these major problems.

But there are also “the little foxes” that seem to be so harmless - even cute - which can do major damage to our relationships. Foxes are members of the dog family, which we think of as being carnivorous; however, foxes eat, in addition to meat, vegetable matter, especially fruit. Imagine the damage to a vineyard that a litter of little fruit-loving foxes can do!

You know the couple: always the life of the party. Always the center of laughter. Such fun they are. We’ve all heard, “And then do you know what Mary did? She has this bad habit of (your choice, again!).” And often, what Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanti

harmless - even cute - which can do major damage to our relationships. Foxes are members of the dog family, which we think of as being carnivorous; however, foxes eat, in addition to meat, vegetable matter, especially fruit. Imagine the damage to a vineyard that a litter of little fruit-loving foxes can do!

You know the couple: always the life of the party. Always the center of laughter. Such fun they are. We’ve all heard, “And then do you know what Mary did? She has this bad habit of (your choice, again!).” And often, what Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanti

er of little fruit-loving foxes can do!

You know the couple: always the life of the party. Always the center of laughter. Such fun they are. We’ve all heard, “And then do you know what Mary did? She has this bad habit of (your choice, again!).” And often, what Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanti

Mary has done gets a laugh, especially when Bill’s delivery is wonderfully humorous, and she giggles and rolls her eyes.

And sometimes, Mary has a brilliant, funny comeback with which she gets in her jab at Bill, and the comedy is on. And if you asked them, wanting to be good sports, they would respond with,

“We don’t mean it. We’re only teasing!”

However, over time, the repeated litany of our shortcomings gets old, and on the day when our self-esteem is in need of a boost - not a put-down, we feel hurt. We may or may not say anything; we may so quickly bury the hurt that we are hardly aware of having experienced it - after all, what’s one tiny nip from one tiny fox?

But eventually, we are bleeding inside from multiple tiny bites; the hurt is deep - and it came from one who is supposed to be our champion and support. This “harmless” teasing is a fox that has sharp teeth indeed. And the catch-22 is that if we speak up to complain, we are being poor sports.

One definition of fox, when it is used as a verb, is to baffle or to confuse. And this is most appropriate here. At the start, our relationships make us feel so good (why else would we get into them?), but over time, the magic goes, and it is true that in a healthy, normal relationship, the excited intensity with which we begin mellows to someth