Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child kno

Here’s how:

* Result 1: When a child is consistently getting the full amount of sleep he needs, he feels more energetic.

Effect: He has more energy to take part in, and do well in, sport and other physical activities.

Knock-on Effect: He develops a strong, healthy, active body, as well as higher self-esteem, and a sense of achievement.

Long-term Effect: This can change who he is – physically and emotionally. It can contribute to his health, to his feelings of self-worth and to his self-belief.

* Result 2: Not having to wake your child for school means he’s getting the full amount of sleep he needs, and he is then able to concentrate better and for longer periods of time.

Effect: Not only will he be able to learn and absorb more while in class, he will feel more alert and be able to participate more. He’ll also be better able to remember what he’s supposed to do and not do. He will find it easier to focus on instructions, and will therefore get better results, and be considered to be showing “good behaviour”.

Knock-on Effect: Getting better results in school, will build that self-esteem, and lead to more confidence and a better self-image.

Long-term Effect: Aside from the academic benefits of doing well at school, the increased self-esteem and sense of achievement will be invaluable to him as an adult – it can affect his career, personal relationships and attitude to finances – just to mention a few.

* Result 3: Consistently getting sufficient sleep will have a profound emotional effect on your child. He will feel happier, more tolerant, be less inclined to feel over-sensitive and irritable, and will benefit from a general, all-over feeling of security and stability – which is undermined when he is lacking in sleep.

Effect: He will get along better with others and be more inclined to do as he’s asked. He will be able to enjoy his life more, and this can nurture a positive attitude and outlook.

Knock-on Effect: Because of his general feeling of happiness and tolerance, others will be more inclined to feel drawn to him and appreciate him. He will receive more positive attention from adults and peers.

Long-term Effect: As we know, our feelings shape and create our lives. The positive feelings resulting from sufficient sleep can change the life your child creates for himself. The boosted self-esteem can change who he becomes as an adult.

Children need different amounts of sleep at different times – depending on whether they’re going through a growth spurt, have a lot of emotional issues to process, or are worried or concerned about anything.

I believe that if you have to wake a child up for school, she is not getting enough sleep. Get her to bed earlier, and if she wakes up early, it doesn’t matter – she can have time to play before getting ready for school, rather than cut short her sleep. If you need to leave at 8.30am, try setting bedtime at 7.30pm, with a story until 8pm, and then lights out and to sleep. Let’s say your child wakes up at 6.30am most mornings (suggest she plays in her room quietly until 7am), your child then has plenty of time to have breakfast and get ready for school in a relaxed manner. It also means she has an extra hour or so, to sleep when she needs it.

Bedtime Battles:

What about getting your child to go to bed on time?

I believe it’s important to first of all explain the reasons for getting enough sleep. Tell your child that among the most important things that happen during sleep are: growing, healing, processing things they’ve learned during the day, working out problems and worries, and so on. Among the benefits of good sleep are: feeling happy and energised, and being able to concentrate and focus. Explain to him that if you have to wake him in the morning for school, those important processes are interrupted. Tell him you feel very strongly about this, and are not prepared to deprive him of his sleep.

For more information and some tips on getting children to sleep enough, visit the Sleep Foundation’s website at: http://www.sleepfoundation.org – Take a look, in particular, at their article on “Sleep Debt” – losing sleep one night and getting the normal amount the next is not good enough. You need to get the normal amount – AND – catch up on the sleep you lost last night.

I can’t imagine a child who, on hearing this, will simply say, “Okay, no problem, I’ll go right to bed.” But, by explaining the reason and logic behind your taking a strong stand regarding bed time, you are giving the message that you are acting out of logic and reason, and not simply out of authority.

The next step is to put your foot down in the nicest way. Having impressed upon your child, the importance of sleep, you now need to explain to her that: because getting enough sleep is so vital to her well-being, health and development, if she doesn’t get enough sleep tonight, she will need to catch up tomorrow night.

A way of putting it is: “You really need to go to sleep now. Unfortunately if you’re not in bed by … and asleep by …, you’re going to have to go to bed earlier tomorrow night to catch up on sleep.” and later… “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in ten minutes, you’ll need to go to bed ten minutes earlier tomorrow night to catch up.”

All of this should be said – and meant – in a genuinely caring way. Your concern is that your child consistently gets enough sleep. If she needs to stay up later one night because of an activity or a visitor that’s fine, but she’ll need to catch up the next night. It’s not a punishment, it’s a fact of nature.

Keep things in perspective. The issue is not whether she is doing as she’s told, or being “naughty” and won’t go to bed, the issue is that she gets enough sleep. Make sure she knows that.

Most importantly: stay true to your word! If you’ve said “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in 10 minutes, you’ll need to go to bed earlier tomorrow night”, and she’s still clearly awake when you come back, make sure you confirm she will be going to bed 10 minutes earlier tomorrow night. Build it from there – in the next 10 minutes, if she’s not asleep, she’ll need to catch up on 20 minutes tomorrow night. She will probably eventually get the idea and at least pretend to be asleep in 10 minutes – which is close enough as there’s a good chance that while she’s pretending, she will fall asleep.

Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child know

* Result 3: Consistently getting sufficient sleep will have a profound emotional effect on your child. He will feel happier, more tolerant, be less inclined to feel over-sensitive and irritable, and will benefit from a general, all-over feeling of security and stability – which is undermined when he is lacking in sleep.

Effect: He will get along better with others and be more inclined to do as he’s asked. He will be able to enjoy his life more, and this can nurture a positive attitude and outlook.

Knock-on Effect: Because of his general feeling of happiness and tolerance, others will be more inclined to feel drawn to him and appreciate him. He will receive more positive attention from adults and peers.

Long-term Effect: As we know, our feelings shape and create our lives. The positive feelings resulting from sufficient sleep can change the life your child creates for himself. The boosted self-esteem can change who he becomes as an adult.

Children need different amounts of sleep at different times – depending on whether they’re going through a growth spurt, have a lot of emotional issues to process, or are worried or concerned about anything.

I believe that if you have to wake a child up for school, she is not getting enough sleep. Get her to bed earlier, and if she wakes up early, it doesn’t matter – she can have time to play before getting ready for school, rather than cut short her sleep. If you need to leave at 8.30am, try setting bedtime at 7.30pm, with a story until 8pm, and then lights out and to sleep. Let’s say your child wakes up at 6.30am most mornings (suggest she plays in her room quietly until 7am), your child then has plenty of time to have breakfast and get ready for school in a relaxed manner. It also means she has an extra hour or so, to sleep when she needs it.

Bedtime Battles:

What about getting your child to go to bed on time?

I believe it’s important to first of all explain the reasons for getting enough sleep. Tell your child that among the most important things that happen during sleep are: growing, healing, processing things they’ve learned during the day, working out problems and worries, and so on. Among the benefits of good sleep are: feeling happy and energised, and being able to concentrate and focus. Explain to him that if you have to wake him in the morning for school, those important processes are interrupted. Tell him you feel very strongly about this, and are not prepared to deprive him of his sleep.

For more information and some tips on getting children to sleep enough, visit the Sleep Foundation’s website at: http://www.sleepfoundation.org – Take a look, in particular, at their article on “Sleep Debt” – losing sleep one night and getting the normal amount the next is not good enough. You need to get the normal amount – AND – catch up on the sleep you lost last night.

I can’t imagine a child who, on hearing this, will simply say, “Okay, no problem, I’ll go right to bed.” But, by explaining the reason and logic behind your taking a strong stand regarding bed time, you are giving the message that you are acting out of logic and reason, and not simply out of authority.

The next step is to put your foot down in the nicest way. Having impressed upon your child, the importance of sleep, you now need to explain to her that: because getting enough sleep is so vital to her well-being, health and development, if she doesn’t get enough sleep tonight, she will need to catch up tomorrow night.

A way of putting it is: “You really need to go to sleep now. Unfortunately if you’re not in bed by … and asleep by …, you’re going to have to go to bed earlier tomorrow night to catch up on sleep.” and later… “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in ten minutes, you’ll need to go to bed ten minutes earlier tomorrow night to catch up.”

All of this should be said – and meant – in a genuinely caring way. Your concern is that your child consistently gets enough sleep. If she needs to stay up later one night because of an activity or a visitor that’s fine, but she’ll need to catch up the next night. It’s not a punishment, it’s a fact of nature.

Keep things in perspective. The issue is not whether she is doing as she’s told, or being “naughty” and won’t go to bed, the issue is that she gets enough sleep. Make sure she knows that.

Most importantly: stay true to your word! If you’ve said “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in 10 minutes, you’ll need to go to bed earlier tomorrow night”, and she’s still clearly awake when you come back, make sure you confirm she will be going to bed 10 minutes earlier tomorrow night. Build it from there – in the next 10 minutes, if she’s not asleep, she’ll need to catch up on 20 minutes tomorrow night. She will probably eventually get the idea and at least pretend to be asleep in 10 minutes – which is close enough as there’s a good chance that while she’s pretending, she will fall asleep.

Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child kno

Bedtime Battles:

What about getting your child to go to bed on time?

I believe it’s important to first of all explain the reasons for getting enough sleep. Tell your child that among the most important things that happen during sleep are: growing, healing, processing things they’ve learned during the day, working out problems and worries, and so on. Among the benefits of good sleep are: feeling happy and energised, and being able to concentrate and focus. Explain to him that if you have to wake him in the morning for school, those important processes are interrupted. Tell him you feel very strongly about this, and are not prepared to deprive him of his sleep.

For more information and some tips on getting children to sleep enough, visit the Sleep Foundation’s website at: http://www.sleepfoundation.org – Take a look, in particular, at their article on “Sleep Debt” – losing sleep one night and getting the normal amount the next is not good enough. You need to get the normal amount – AND – catch up on the sleep you lost last night.

I can’t imagine a child who, on hearing this, will simply say, “Okay, no problem, I’ll go right to bed.” But, by explaining the reason and logic behind your taking a strong stand regarding bed time, you are giving the message that you are acting out of logic and reason, and not simply out of authority.

The next step is to put your foot down in the nicest way. Having impressed upon your child, the importance of sleep, you now need to explain to her that: because getting enough sleep is so vital to her well-being, health and development, if she doesn’t get enough sleep tonight, she will need to catch up tomorrow night.

A way of putting it is: “You really need to go to sleep now. Unfortunately if you’re not in bed by … and asleep by …, you’re going to have to go to bed earlier tomorrow night to catch up on sleep.” and later… “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in ten minutes, you’ll need to go to bed ten minutes earlier tomorrow night to catch up.”

All of this should be said – and meant – in a genuinely caring way. Your concern is that your child consistently gets enough sleep. If she needs to stay up later one night because of an activity or a visitor that’s fine, but she’ll need to catch up the next night. It’s not a punishment, it’s a fact of nature.

Keep things in perspective. The issue is not whether she is doing as she’s told, or being “naughty” and won’t go to bed, the issue is that she gets enough sleep. Make sure she knows that.

Most importantly: stay true to your word! If you’ve said “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in 10 minutes, you’ll need to go to bed earlier tomorrow night”, and she’s still clearly awake when you come back, make sure you confirm she will be going to bed 10 minutes earlier tomorrow night. Build it from there – in the next 10 minutes, if she’s not asleep, she’ll need to catch up on 20 minutes tomorrow night. She will probably eventually get the idea and at least pretend to be asleep in 10 minutes – which is close enough as there’s a good chance that while she’s pretending, she will fall asleep.

Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child kno

A way of putting it is: “You really need to go to sleep now. Unfortunately if you’re not in bed by … and asleep by …, you’re going to have to go to bed earlier tomorrow night to catch up on sleep.” and later… “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in ten minutes, you’ll need to go to bed ten minutes earlier tomorrow night to catch up.”

All of this should be said – and meant – in a genuinely caring way. Your concern is that your child consistently gets enough sleep. If she needs to stay up later one night because of an activity or a visitor that’s fine, but she’ll need to catch up the next night. It’s not a punishment, it’s a fact of nature.

Keep things in perspective. The issue is not whether she is doing as she’s told, or being “naughty” and won’t go to bed, the issue is that she gets enough sleep. Make sure she knows that.

Most importantly: stay true to your word! If you’ve said “If you’re not asleep by the time I come back in 10 minutes, you’ll need to go to bed earlier tomorrow night”, and she’s still clearly awake when you come back, make sure you confirm she will be going to bed 10 minutes earlier tomorrow night. Build it from there – in the next 10 minutes, if she’s not asleep, she’ll need to catch up on 20 minutes tomorrow night. She will probably eventually get the idea and at least pretend to be asleep in 10 minutes – which is close enough as there’s a good chance that while she’s pretending, she will fall asleep.

Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child kno

Here comes the vital bit:

Come tomorrow night, it is absolutely essential you move bedtime to the 10 or 20 or 30 minutes earlier – whatever it ended up as.

Your child is bound to object, and this is the “make or break” situation you need to conquer.

No matter how much your child objects, no matter how dramatic their protests, you need to be firm and stick by your decision – but in a very sympathetic way: “I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it’s frustrating, and you feel you don’t need the extra sleep, and if it wasn’t so important, I wouldn’t insist on it. But unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it – your body and mind need the sleep, and of course, you lost 20 minutes last night, so you do need to catch up tonight. But then tomorrow night, you’ll be back to normal, so then you can go to bed at the normal time of … So, into bed and straight to sleep, goodnight sweetheart…”

Remember, you’re on her side – you’re not trying to teach her a lesson or dish out punishment, you’re trying to help her get enough sleep because you want her to be a happy, healthy, alert and energetic child who is able to cope with her life.

Now, some children will get the idea, and go to sleep as requested, planning to not have this happen again. Others will protest further, and need another “If you’re not asleep by… unfortunately, you’re going to have even more to catch up tomorrow night.”

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to stick to your promise. You’ll only need to follow it through once or twice. Once your child knows you mean it, and there’s no room for debate or discussion on this subject, the next time you say “if you’re not asleep by…” he will believe you mean it, and he will go to sleep (or at least pretend to – which is fine).

The result:

* You will see a marked improvement in your child’s behaviour if she starts to get a regular, consistent full quota of the sleep she needs. Although it may not be obvious or logical, a lack of consistently getting enough sleep can make a child’s behaviour appear to be naughty, cheeky, moody, listless, and/or irritable. Remember, your child may not appear to be tired (and certainly many children will deny feeling tired even when they’re exhausted), but being tired is not the only symptom of sleep deprivation.

This is a valuable foundation for setting and enforcing boundaries in a loving, supportive way. Your child will learn to trust that you:

a) have valid reasons for wanting him to get more sleep, you are not just asserting authority and

b) mean what you say and are true to your word

* The method of catching up lost sleep in portions of 10 minutes takes the pressure off you. You don’t have to nag, punish, raise your voice or threaten. It’s a calm, loving approach of: “You need this amount of sleep, and unfortunately, if you can’t manage to get to sleep by the time I come back, I understand and I know you can’t help it, but because you will then be short of 10 minutes of sleep, we need to make it up tomorrow night.” That’s it. No anger, no retribution.

What I’ve mentioned here is only the tip of the iceberg. In enabling your child to get the sleep she needs you will be giving her a priceless gift – a contribution to the best she can be.