ocused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: cle

People who don't speak up RARELY get their needs met. Therefore, the time has come to open-up and be clear about how you feel. It’s easier said than done, but what’s the alternative? If you’re really working overtime to find a way to approach your partner, try to think smarter, not harder. It’s less stressful to know where you both stand on a topic than to assume it. But, don’t just jump blindly into a conversation. Plan out what you’ll say and how you’ll say it.

The truth is couples simply need to learn how to better communicate to express their needs and concerns. The conversation is about where you stand, and where you’d like to see some changes. But, this isn’t only about how your partner should change to serve you. The only thing we can change is ourselves. That is, the man (or woman) in the mirror. If you think you can change your partner, prepare to be disappointed. People only change when it's their time to do so.

Instead, make it a point to fully give your partner the chance to see how his/her behavior is hurting you. Moreover, by shining some light on your position, you're setting boundaries, and teaching him/her what's acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship. When you hold strategies for effectively communicating, many reservations you have about expressing yourself will vanish.

So, how do you ask for what you want? Developing your communication skills is the best way to speak- up clearly and effectively in all your relationships.

Before saying a word, ask yourself two things:

1. Do you know what you want?

2. Do you know how to ask for what you want?

Here are helpful talking tips to peacefully get to a solution. Try not to feel overwhelmed with this list, just choose 2 or 3 tips for now, and use them regularly.

• Choose the appropriate time to talk, and listen for natural opportunities for the conversation to flow.

• Speak from a calm, loving place. Begin here, and you'll be more likely to truly hear your partner's needs too.

• Avoid saying “You need to (blank).” That's way too controlling. Instead, use “I” statements to express where you stand.

• Making sure YOU clearly understand what you need to say. Think it through, and role play to yourself in the mirror.

• Be willing to address other issues that arise. The discussion will probably bring up some other unresolved topics. Be willing and open to talk about it.

• Pause often, stay focused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: clea

nd, and where you’d like to see some changes. But, this isn’t only about how your partner should change to serve you. The only thing we can change is ourselves. That is, the man (or woman) in the mirror. If you think you can change your partner, prepare to be disappointed. People only change when it's their time to do so.

Instead, make it a point to fully give your partner the chance to see how his/her behavior is hurting you. Moreover, by shining some light on your position, you're setting boundaries, and teaching him/her what's acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship. When you hold strategies for effectively communicating, many reservations you have about expressing yourself will vanish.

So, how do you ask for what you want? Developing your communication skills is the best way to speak- up clearly and effectively in all your relationships.

Before saying a word, ask yourself two things:

1. Do you know what you want?

2. Do you know how to ask for what you want?

Here are helpful talking tips to peacefully get to a solution. Try not to feel overwhelmed with this list, just choose 2 or 3 tips for now, and use them regularly.

• Choose the appropriate time to talk, and listen for natural opportunities for the conversation to flow.

• Speak from a calm, loving place. Begin here, and you'll be more likely to truly hear your partner's needs too.

• Avoid saying “You need to (blank).” That's way too controlling. Instead, use “I” statements to express where you stand.

• Making sure YOU clearly understand what you need to say. Think it through, and role play to yourself in the mirror.

• Be willing to address other issues that arise. The discussion will probably bring up some other unresolved topics. Be willing and open to talk about it.

• Pause often, stay focused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: cle

r effectively communicating, many reservations you have about expressing yourself will vanish.

So, how do you ask for what you want? Developing your communication skills is the best way to speak- up clearly and effectively in all your relationships.

Before saying a word, ask yourself two things:

1. Do you know what you want?

2. Do you know how to ask for what you want?

Here are helpful talking tips to peacefully get to a solution. Try not to feel overwhelmed with this list, just choose 2 or 3 tips for now, and use them regularly.

• Choose the appropriate time to talk, and listen for natural opportunities for the conversation to flow.

• Speak from a calm, loving place. Begin here, and you'll be more likely to truly hear your partner's needs too.

• Avoid saying “You need to (blank).” That's way too controlling. Instead, use “I” statements to express where you stand.

• Making sure YOU clearly understand what you need to say. Think it through, and role play to yourself in the mirror.

• Be willing to address other issues that arise. The discussion will probably bring up some other unresolved topics. Be willing and open to talk about it.

• Pause often, stay focused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: cle

ten for natural opportunities for the conversation to flow.

• Speak from a calm, loving place. Begin here, and you'll be more likely to truly hear your partner's needs too.

• Avoid saying “You need to (blank).” That's way too controlling. Instead, use “I” statements to express where you stand.

• Making sure YOU clearly understand what you need to say. Think it through, and role play to yourself in the mirror.

• Be willing to address other issues that arise. The discussion will probably bring up some other unresolved topics. Be willing and open to talk about it.

• Pause often, stay focused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: cle

ocused. Otherwise, emotions take control and logic fades. Consequently, the conversation shifts from solution-focused to emotion-focused, and leads to more arguing.

• Use your voice. Want this relationship to work or not? You MUST communicate your feelings. How else will your partner know?

• Watch your tone. How you say things determines what's heard. Avoid a condescending tone, name calling, accusatory language, etc. A mean, controlling attitude will get you on the express train to no where!

• Speak confidently and assertively to clearly express yourself. No passive voices here. Remember: clear, confident.

Remaining in flux about talking is only hurting you more, and fails to offer any solutions. Try not to spend another day on this emotional see-saw. Do yourself and your partner a favor, speak-up! Good luck, and I’m here to help when you’re ready to talk.