manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions

Plummeting the unconscious is not as easy as some might think. And yet, working as our ally, the unconscious has a vast reservoir of knowledge, wisdom and strength that makes taking control of our minds not only very fruitful but stimulating. Life is a process of growth. Growth means letting go of the past. Letting go can seem difficult at times. Where it is easy to let go of the stuff we don't want to remember, the pain and fear identities that we have stored in memory are a little tougher. As we grow, we discover that we are responsible for everything in our lives---oh, but perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Pause---what we have seen up to now have had to do more with some of the mechanics that can trap one in a mere shadow of self. Let's take a look at some alternatives.

Choices

What makes the difference between two children raised in the same environment with the same parents when one ends up a neuro-surgeon and the other a hardened violent criminal? What makes the difference between two patients suffering in a hospice center from identical conditions when one requires very little medication and is liked by all, while the other suffers bitterly regardless of the medication and no one really wants to be around them? What are the subtle differences that seem to allow one person to live a certain life style free of illness while another doing the same things becomes ill as a result? What defines a stimulus as stressful to one while the same exact stimulus is welcomed with excitement by another? The answer is so simple as to be overly obvious.

In my work, I have had the opportunity to work with a wide range of individuals in differing settings, ranging from the inmate incarcerated in maximum security to the terminal patient in the hospice center. Over the years my observations ultimately led to this hypothesis: the persons who seem to suffer most consider themselves to be victims. The classic victim scenario in the prison generally goes something like this: all but for the grace of God there go you. Translated by the inmate population, this means something like, "What would you do? Where would you be? After all, my daddy was an alcoholic, my mother was a prostitute and the neighbor boy hung heroine on me when I was only eight".

The fact is, our environment and circumstance do imprint us in profound ways. Our very ability to cope depends in large on our choices and they are predetermined in large by our enculturation process. Thus, what else could the victim of these tragedies do?

Our choices are predicated on our beliefs and our beliefs have been adopted from from the victimization expectation---or what I call the right to "get even." Here is an example of how this kind of reason pervades who and what we are.

One day a man walking the streets of Manhattan passed beneath a high rise complex that consisted of very expensive condominiums. As he passed under the balcony of one of the two story units a flower pot which had been placed precariously close to the balcony edge fell and crashed down on his head. Now imagine this man's choices.

What could he do? What would be the normal thing to do? Well, he could take the broken pot back to its owners and put it guess where. Administer a beating to the idiot that put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most people respond with as their first thought when I have presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet, what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!

What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the possibilities, which one do you think would produce the best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness and even health?

The Healer Within

The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions

en one requires very little medication and is liked by all, while the other suffers bitterly regardless of the medication and no one really wants to be around them? What are the subtle differences that seem to allow one person to live a certain life style free of illness while another doing the same things becomes ill as a result? What defines a stimulus as stressful to one while the same exact stimulus is welcomed with excitement by another? The answer is so simple as to be overly obvious.

In my work, I have had the opportunity to work with a wide range of individuals in differing settings, ranging from the inmate incarcerated in maximum security to the terminal patient in the hospice center. Over the years my observations ultimately led to this hypothesis: the persons who seem to suffer most consider themselves to be victims. The classic victim scenario in the prison generally goes something like this: all but for the grace of God there go you. Translated by the inmate population, this means something like, "What would you do? Where would you be? After all, my daddy was an alcoholic, my mother was a prostitute and the neighbor boy hung heroine on me when I was only eight".

The fact is, our environment and circumstance do imprint us in profound ways. Our very ability to cope depends in large on our choices and they are predetermined in large by our enculturation process. Thus, what else could the victim of these tragedies do?

Our choices are predicated on our beliefs and our beliefs have been adopted from from the victimization expectation---or what I call the right to "get even." Here is an example of how this kind of reason pervades who and what we are.

One day a man walking the streets of Manhattan passed beneath a high rise complex that consisted of very expensive condominiums. As he passed under the balcony of one of the two story units a flower pot which had been placed precariously close to the balcony edge fell and crashed down on his head. Now imagine this man's choices.

What could he do? What would be the normal thing to do? Well, he could take the broken pot back to its owners and put it guess where. Administer a beating to the idiot that put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most people respond with as their first thought when I have presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet, what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!

What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the possibilities, which one do you think would produce the best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness and even health?

The Healer Within

The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions

daddy was an alcoholic, my mother was a prostitute and the neighbor boy hung heroine on me when I was only eight".

The fact is, our environment and circumstance do imprint us in profound ways. Our very ability to cope depends in large on our choices and they are predetermined in large by our enculturation process. Thus, what else could the victim of these tragedies do?

Our choices are predicated on our beliefs and our beliefs have been adopted from from the victimization expectation---or what I call the right to "get even." Here is an example of how this kind of reason pervades who and what we are.

One day a man walking the streets of Manhattan passed beneath a high rise complex that consisted of very expensive condominiums. As he passed under the balcony of one of the two story units a flower pot which had been placed precariously close to the balcony edge fell and crashed down on his head. Now imagine this man's choices.

What could he do? What would be the normal thing to do? Well, he could take the broken pot back to its owners and put it guess where. Administer a beating to the idiot that put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most people respond with as their first thought when I have presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet, what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!

What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the possibilities, which one do you think would produce the best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness and even health?

The Healer Within

The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions

where. Administer a beating to the idiot that put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most people respond with as their first thought when I have presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet, what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!

What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the possibilities, which one do you think would produce the best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness and even health?

The Healer Within

The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions

manner. Normal means that they have a right to become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said something like "normal man has educated himself to be normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression, literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can condition the body in the direction of disease as well as produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).

Anger

The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course, pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our definitions and they have been incubated all too often in chicken houses, but let's stop for a moment and look at one of the preferred enculturated choices from the human chicken house. My work and research has demonstrated that for every fear there is an anger response. Sometimes the anger is withheld, turned in, and sometimes it is acted out. Nevertheless, there is no such thing as anger without some fear underpinning it! Now, what exactly is anger? My examination of this cycle of fear and anger has given rise to an acronym that I often use when describing anger. A---a, N---nasty, G---getting, E---even, R---response. A nasty getting even response. If fear and anger are circular, what is it that gives rise to feeling frightened, anxious or nervous, becoming angry and responding in a fight/flight way when the stimulus is something like the way my employer speaks to me, the way my significant other looks at me, or just the stuff one feels when cut off in five o'clock traffic and given the infamous bird. None of these things are truly life threatening and after all, isn't that what the fight/flight functions are wired in for, the preservation of the species? Dr. Carl LaPresch used to speak of the four "F's" in his introductory lectures regarding basic psychology. These four primitive drives were the basis for most behavior. In fact, it was Carl who first suggested to me that perhaps the highest act of human consciousness was cortical inhibition---over riding the wired in responses that can occur in the primitive brain. The four "f's" are easy to remember and oriented to species preservation: fight, flight, feeding and---well the propagation of the species. Why then a fight/flight response to a synthetic stimuli---that is a stimuli that is not life threatening? What special lens do we attach to certain events in life that give rise to a perception of threat when indeed the threat is not a tiger in hot pursuit? My early hypothesis regarding the fear/anger loop eventually led to the conclusion that perceived threats were rejection oriented. In other words, our individual intrinsic value was denied. Interestingly though, for most of us, the normal strategy for avoiding rejection is itself the ultimate rejection. There are two ways to be tied up in the world. One is to have someone literally bind you and another is simply to tether oneself to a thread, refusing either to pull hard enough to break it or to let it go. Many of our beliefs are the product of the latter. We refuse to let them go. Like the eagle raised by the chickens, we know what we are expected to do and define our behavior accordingly. Thus, to resolve conflict we establish strategies designed to protect us from rejection. Among these strategies our defense mechanisms function, as well as our attitudes, toward everything we will encounter in our lives. When I was a boy my definitions included labels and what I have termed for years as the no-don't syndrome. In my many lectures throughout America and Europe, the audience has repeatedly verified that my experience was not unique. Indeed, it was the rule. If this generalization applies, then most of us were raised with statements like: "You're not old enough." "You're stupid or that's stupid." "Children are to be seen and not heard." "Don't do this"---"you can't do that"---and so forth as well as a host of labels. We develop defense strategies to cope with the negative. For example, I was often told that I wasn't tough enough or smart enough. My defense strategy was compensatory---aggression oriented. The result was devastating. Not only did I poison myself, but the never ending quest to justify my actions produced increasing needs for aggression. My relationships deteriorated and/or were destroyed, and well, you can just imagine the havoc wreaked in my own life. The method of choice for conflict in my particular upbringing was aggressive---and hostility was the norm. What I have found over the years of life and work is that once again, this was not a unique pattern. Oh, the circumstances may vary from individual to individual, but the essence of the lesson never did. The result for many of us is a mechanism called blame. That brings us right back to our inmate whose daddy was an alcoholic and so forth. Alas, a light went on that set years of work and research into pe