Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can t

Sometimes it is difficult to start incorporating the various skills that we have discussed into our behavior. We understand the advantages that they will bring but it is still difficult to break out of that comfort zone and behave in a different manner. So how do we make the change when it feels so uncomfortable?

The truth is that people are motivated by benefits – and their behavior will not change until they believe that the benefits of the change will be greater than their current situation. Unfortunately that does not often happen. The perception often re-enforces a status quo such as:

• If people are in a situation that they perceive to be negative, they might try a change to make things better – however they are more likely to do nothing for fear of making things worse.

• If people are in a situation that they perceive to be positive or that they are in control of they are not likely to make a change to their behavior for fear of risking what they currently have.

That is, people do not like to change - but you probably already knew that.

As a team leader I may know that berating my staff until they do what I want is an ineffective motivation style for the long term – however I may be getting results in the short term and I do not want to risk losing them. Subconsciously I will resist changing because of this.

The character of Phil Conners in the movie Ground Hog day (played by Bill Murray) had a curse that turned out to be a stroke of luck because it solved this problem. In the movie Phil was forced to repeat the same day every day. All of the situations that he encountered were identical day after day. The only thing that changed was the way he responded to them.

Initially the situation drove him to the point of suicide. But when even that did not solve his problem he started to adjust his responses to the situations and watch what would happen. Eventually he learned that there were benefits by interacting with people in a different manner – in his case he found out that he benefited as much as others did when he genuinely cared.

My wife hates this movie because she finds it tedious – day after day after day, it’s all the same.

I love this movie because it reminds me of solving a complex problem such as debugging software. Everything is the same but you change just one small variable and see how it affects everything else. By the end of the movie Phil has learned to make countless small adjustments which add up to an entirely different personality and life.

Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can th

• If people are in a situation that they perceive to be negative, they might try a change to make things better – however they are more likely to do nothing for fear of making things worse.

• If people are in a situation that they perceive to be positive or that they are in control of they are not likely to make a change to their behavior for fear of risking what they currently have.

That is, people do not like to change - but you probably already knew that.

As a team leader I may know that berating my staff until they do what I want is an ineffective motivation style for the long term – however I may be getting results in the short term and I do not want to risk losing them. Subconsciously I will resist changing because of this.

The character of Phil Conners in the movie Ground Hog day (played by Bill Murray) had a curse that turned out to be a stroke of luck because it solved this problem. In the movie Phil was forced to repeat the same day every day. All of the situations that he encountered were identical day after day. The only thing that changed was the way he responded to them.

Initially the situation drove him to the point of suicide. But when even that did not solve his problem he started to adjust his responses to the situations and watch what would happen. Eventually he learned that there were benefits by interacting with people in a different manner – in his case he found out that he benefited as much as others did when he genuinely cared.

My wife hates this movie because she finds it tedious – day after day after day, it’s all the same.

I love this movie because it reminds me of solving a complex problem such as debugging software. Everything is the same but you change just one small variable and see how it affects everything else. By the end of the movie Phil has learned to make countless small adjustments which add up to an entirely different personality and life.

Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can t

The character of Phil Conners in the movie Ground Hog day (played by Bill Murray) had a curse that turned out to be a stroke of luck because it solved this problem. In the movie Phil was forced to repeat the same day every day. All of the situations that he encountered were identical day after day. The only thing that changed was the way he responded to them.

Initially the situation drove him to the point of suicide. But when even that did not solve his problem he started to adjust his responses to the situations and watch what would happen. Eventually he learned that there were benefits by interacting with people in a different manner – in his case he found out that he benefited as much as others did when he genuinely cared.

My wife hates this movie because she finds it tedious – day after day after day, it’s all the same.

I love this movie because it reminds me of solving a complex problem such as debugging software. Everything is the same but you change just one small variable and see how it affects everything else. By the end of the movie Phil has learned to make countless small adjustments which add up to an entirely different personality and life.

Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can t

My wife hates this movie because she finds it tedious – day after day after day, it’s all the same.

I love this movie because it reminds me of solving a complex problem such as debugging software. Everything is the same but you change just one small variable and see how it affects everything else. By the end of the movie Phil has learned to make countless small adjustments which add up to an entirely different personality and life.

Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can t

Since I do not have the benefit of repeating the circumstances day after day I have to come up with another means by which I can break out of my comfort zone and start using the skills that I know will be a benefit. The answer has to do with making a conscious choice to make a small change and watch the results – experiment just like Phil Conners did.

I work on becoming consciously aware of situations where I can fall into old patterns. My subconscious screams at me not to change; however, once I identify such a situation it is usually not difficult to make a small change. I can then monitor the response and decide for myself if there is a benefit from the new behavior.

I recently discovered a way of making this even easier – by experimenting on people that I interact with but do not necessarily have a strong relationship with. Not long ago I was in a position where I felt that I needed to confront someone about the way they treated someone else. My natural behavior was to ignore it and let it go – however I did not want to see this conduct repeat itself. As I thought about it I realized that I did not have much of a relationship with this person anyway. By changing my response to them I was not going to put anything at risk. With that thought it became much easier to change my behavior and watch the response. The individual that I was confronting responded very favorably to the points that I made and our relationship improved.

With that experience I literally programmed my subconscious to expect positive responses the next time I use that behavior – thus making the choice to use it in the future much easier.

One area of most people’s lives that never gets confronted is their fear of public speaking. If you are aware of the many benefits that public speaking skills offer, but are still afraid to confront that fear then you are like the majority of people. Why not be like Phil Conners – start making small conscious changes and see how they can have a significantly positive effect on your life. If you would like to overcome your fear and master the art of public speaking please visit my website – http://www.EffectivelySpeaking.Com. You will find an abundance of free articles on public speaking. In addition, if you sign-up for my free newsletter (which contains articles similar to this) I will send you five articles on overcoming your fear of public speaking.

All the best to you as you start making those small conscious alterations and using new found skills. One day you will realize what a large change they have made in the quality of your life.

Copyright © 2006 David Mudie