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Atricle Dump - Ten Steps To Better Listening
There are many reasons why small businesses fail whether you are in business for one year or twenty years. Avoiding the pitfalls from the beginning is a must to have a chance at success. Mistakes can cost businesses thousands of dollars and in some cases force them into bankruptcy.The key is to avoid as many mistakes as you can to help increase the likelihood of success.The biggest mistake any person can make is choosing the wrong business. Sounds kind of funny, but if there is no demand for your product or service, your business will struggle to survive. To help you avoid that error, here's a look at three of the top reasons why wrong choices are made.Mistake #1: Converting a hobby into a small busi
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometim
It really doesn't get sadder - or more ironic - for training professionals than this. Here you are investing in someone, spending time to develop their skills and increase their capacity, and there they are, playing hangman on the handouts, mentally crafting the opening lines of their next cover letter, and popping red-striped mints every 15 minutes to maintain a sugar sustained semi-wakeful state that will invariably lead to collapse by about 2:15pm. So how to you actually go creating the most effective training experience? Here's how.The 4 MOST IMPORTANT Factors in a Successful Training Experience1. You must enable trainee buy-in.Psychiatrists have been telling us for years (er…or they’ve been telling a good friend of ours…yeah…a friend…) that a patient has to
You won't get what you need from any conversation unless you know how to listen correctly -- and know what to listen for. Questions, properly used, draw out what you need to hear. But they will be useless unless you listen closely enough to catch what people are telling you.
Here are some crucial guidelines for listening: what to listen for and how to make sure you don't miss it.
1. STAY IN THE MOMENT
Don't allow your attention to drift. Don't let your mind run ahead, preparing the next question or anticipating the flow of conversation. Stay right here. This is where the action is. Don't miss it.
2. DON'T FEAR PAUSES
Many people are afraid they'll look stupid if there's a pause while they consider what to say next, so they tune out part way through the answer to start preparing.
Listening to the answer is far more vital than having the next comment ready as soon as the other person draws breath. Thought is much faster than speech. It may feel as if minutes pass while you get your next question ready, but it will be a few seconds at most; a few seconds in which the person you're talking with will see you have truly listened.
Which will best encourage openness: being slick with the next question or showing you truly listened to the last answer?
3. LISTEN TO "WHAT," THEN "HOW" AND LASTLY "WHY"
Always listen in this order. Get the basic facts clear first (the "what"), then move on to see how they fit together (the "how"). Lastly, try to understand why -- the motives, thoughts and intentions behind the actions and behaviors.
Listening like this will show you right away where essential parts of the story are missing, so you can ask a question to draw them out.
4. WATCH FOR PATTERNS
Patterns are the most revealing elements in any person's story: patterns or action, patterns of choices, patterns of responses to others. Any specific action may be no more than chance. We all make bad choices and take wrong turns. None of that is specially important. But if there is a pattern of bad decisions -- or a pattern of good, courageous ones -- that suggests a recurring trait that will apply in the future as much as it has in the past.
I can't tell you how to do this. Some people seem almost incapable of noting patterns, even after you've pointed them out. It's all about spotting links between seemingly disconnected topics; the kind of links you get in a good mystery novel where the detective pieces all the clues together into an unanswerable proof of guilt.
What I can suggest is that you practice. Like all skills, practice will improve your performance. The more practice you have, the easier it will be, until you can do it in real time.
5. DON'T MAKE NOTES OBSESSIVELY
Taking notes is good practice, just so long as it doesn't interfere with the natural flow of the discussion. Don't allow long pauses while you break eye-contact to scribble on your pad.
The simplest suggestion is to note just a word or two and fill in the blanks immediately after the interview when the detail is still fresh in your mind. Don't assume you'll remember what "toes" meant when twenty-four hours have passed.
6. WATCH FOR EYE AND BODY MOVEMENTS
We communicate in many ways beyond words. But don't fall for pop-psychology interpretations of body language. Shifting in the seat may mean anxiety about some deception. But it may also mean the other person is too hot, too cold, or needs the bathroom.
There is never a simple, perfect "interpretation" of so-called body language. It's best to see it for what it is: a sign that something is going on that might demand your attention. Use it as a wake-up signal and you won't go wrong.
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometime
Make sure you target women. It’s true for almost anything you are selling. According to Women Mean Business: The Secret to Selling to Women, eighty percent of all checks written in the US are written by women and they purchase 80-% of all consumer goods in the U.S. That’s not a market segment you can afford to ignore. Even for items traditionally thought of as male dominated, such as consumer electronics, women have significant influence.The Consumer Electronics Association (CEA) found women actually spent more on technology in 2003 than men, accounting for $55B of the $96B spent on electronics gear. Auto industry research shows that 65% of new vehicle purchases are substantially influenced or directly made by women. A 2005 study by Lucid Marketing found that your business wil
Listening to the answer is far more vital than having the next comment ready as soon as the other person draws breath. Thought is much faster than speech. It may feel as if minutes pass while you get your next question ready, but it will be a few seconds at most; a few seconds in which the person you're talking with will see you have truly listened.
Which will best encourage openness: being slick with the next question or showing you truly listened to the last answer?
3. LISTEN TO "WHAT," THEN "HOW" AND LASTLY "WHY"
Always listen in this order. Get the basic facts clear first (the "what"), then move on to see how they fit together (the "how"). Lastly, try to understand why -- the motives, thoughts and intentions behind the actions and behaviors.
Listening like this will show you right away where essential parts of the story are missing, so you can ask a question to draw them out.
4. WATCH FOR PATTERNS
Patterns are the most revealing elements in any person's story: patterns or action, patterns of choices, patterns of responses to others. Any specific action may be no more than chance. We all make bad choices and take wrong turns. None of that is specially important. But if there is a pattern of bad decisions -- or a pattern of good, courageous ones -- that suggests a recurring trait that will apply in the future as much as it has in the past.
I can't tell you how to do this. Some people seem almost incapable of noting patterns, even after you've pointed them out. It's all about spotting links between seemingly disconnected topics; the kind of links you get in a good mystery novel where the detective pieces all the clues together into an unanswerable proof of guilt.
What I can suggest is that you practice. Like all skills, practice will improve your performance. The more practice you have, the easier it will be, until you can do it in real time.
5. DON'T MAKE NOTES OBSESSIVELY
Taking notes is good practice, just so long as it doesn't interfere with the natural flow of the discussion. Don't allow long pauses while you break eye-contact to scribble on your pad.
The simplest suggestion is to note just a word or two and fill in the blanks immediately after the interview when the detail is still fresh in your mind. Don't assume you'll remember what "toes" meant when twenty-four hours have passed.
6. WATCH FOR EYE AND BODY MOVEMENTS
We communicate in many ways beyond words. But don't fall for pop-psychology interpretations of body language. Shifting in the seat may mean anxiety about some deception. But it may also mean the other person is too hot, too cold, or needs the bathroom.
There is never a simple, perfect "interpretation" of so-called body language. It's best to see it for what it is: a sign that something is going on that might demand your attention. Use it as a wake-up signal and you won't go wrong.
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometim
Most Designers and Creative people dream to work on their own. In a creative environment getting good commissions and concentrating solely on the creative process and their passion for design and art. This can be achievable but other skills need to be acquired.You will become a marketeer, start to looking for areas where you can make your art sell. For example galleries, ebay etc. You will learn negotiation skills and start talking in marketing terms. You will find yourself when you are in bookshops and the library strangely being drawn to the business section. Also you will find that suddenly you have to become an accountant. Start learning about tax and spreadsheets.The Freelance life can turn into a nightmare if you don't keep a keen eye on the finances from day one.
4. WATCH FOR PATTERNS
Patterns are the most revealing elements in any person's story: patterns or action, patterns of choices, patterns of responses to others. Any specific action may be no more than chance. We all make bad choices and take wrong turns. None of that is specially important. But if there is a pattern of bad decisions -- or a pattern of good, courageous ones -- that suggests a recurring trait that will apply in the future as much as it has in the past.
I can't tell you how to do this. Some people seem almost incapable of noting patterns, even after you've pointed them out. It's all about spotting links between seemingly disconnected topics; the kind of links you get in a good mystery novel where the detective pieces all the clues together into an unanswerable proof of guilt.
What I can suggest is that you practice. Like all skills, practice will improve your performance. The more practice you have, the easier it will be, until you can do it in real time.
5. DON'T MAKE NOTES OBSESSIVELY
Taking notes is good practice, just so long as it doesn't interfere with the natural flow of the discussion. Don't allow long pauses while you break eye-contact to scribble on your pad.
The simplest suggestion is to note just a word or two and fill in the blanks immediately after the interview when the detail is still fresh in your mind. Don't assume you'll remember what "toes" meant when twenty-four hours have passed.
6. WATCH FOR EYE AND BODY MOVEMENTS
We communicate in many ways beyond words. But don't fall for pop-psychology interpretations of body language. Shifting in the seat may mean anxiety about some deception. But it may also mean the other person is too hot, too cold, or needs the bathroom.
There is never a simple, perfect "interpretation" of so-called body language. It's best to see it for what it is: a sign that something is going on that might demand your attention. Use it as a wake-up signal and you won't go wrong.
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometim
The majority of coaches start their coaching business because they love coaching and with the right training have developed their skills to a particular level. It is one thing to love what you do and be good at it, and another to take this and turn it into a successful business. Whether you want your coaching business to be part-time, full-time or to grow into a much bigger company, you need to make money.In order to make money, you need to clearly evaluate the financial side of the business and whether what you want to do is viable. This is going to vary for each of you as individuals. Some coaches would be looking to make a high income, perhaps because that's what they used to, for some they want a more reasonable income because they don't want to work long hours and the
5. DON'T MAKE NOTES OBSESSIVELY
Taking notes is good practice, just so long as it doesn't interfere with the natural flow of the discussion. Don't allow long pauses while you break eye-contact to scribble on your pad.
The simplest suggestion is to note just a word or two and fill in the blanks immediately after the interview when the detail is still fresh in your mind. Don't assume you'll remember what "toes" meant when twenty-four hours have passed.
6. WATCH FOR EYE AND BODY MOVEMENTS
We communicate in many ways beyond words. But don't fall for pop-psychology interpretations of body language. Shifting in the seat may mean anxiety about some deception. But it may also mean the other person is too hot, too cold, or needs the bathroom.
There is never a simple, perfect "interpretation" of so-called body language. It's best to see it for what it is: a sign that something is going on that might demand your attention. Use it as a wake-up signal and you won't go wrong.
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometim
If you sell a technical product or service, you probably know you have jargon at your web site - specialized terminology that the average person doesn't understand. While jargon does help you communicate precisely with peers, it seriously gets in the way if potential and actual customers aren't as conversant with it as you are.Plenty of heart patients, for instance, don't know what a "myocardial infarction" is (a heart attack). Many pregnant women have never heard of a "doula," a woman who coaches them through labor. Movers and shakers thinking of buying another company don't necessarily know the term "assessment of human capital." Hardly anyone would know what "global readiness solutions" are, since one company made up the term. The same goes for abbre
7. NEVER ARGUE OR GET EMOTIONAL
Whatever the other person says in a formal conversation, however much you disagree or loathe what's being said, never, never rise to the bait. Be respectful, without implying agreement or disagreement. Keep your attention alert and your mind open. You have a job to do, not a debate to win. Getting into an argument will interfere with your purpose.
8. LISTEN FOR TONE AND CHOICE OF WORDS
One of the least conscious parts of speaking is the tone we use: relaxed, tight, anxious, angry. Listening to the tone can alert you to meanings far beyond the literal interpretation of the words used.
Does the other person sound at ease? Tense? Uncertain? Angry? Sad? What might this suggest? Does it form a pattern?
Our choice of words can sometimes be a giveaway too. Especially if that choice results in using emotional or judgmental words. If I say a customer is "demanding," that's an objective outlook. If I use words like "awkward," "nasty," "deceitful," "dishonest," or "bloody-minded," I am being judgmental and revealing my emotions as well. Which tells you more about my attitude?
Just remember not to over-react to a single instance. Maybe that customer was dishonest. It happens. Look for patterns that suggest a fixed attitude.
9. REMEMBER YOU'RE HEARING A STORY
Listen for the ebb and flow; the big themes and central ideas. Ask yourself: "What's this story all about? How has it developed? Where's it going?" Don't concentrate on isolated facts. Look for the patterns and how they fit together to form the story of that person's life to date.
10. SMILE
Nothing is more disarming than a smile. Nothing better conveys interest and respect. With so much going on in your head -- asking questions, listening to the answers with rapt attention -- it's easy to come across as stuffy and miserable. Smile. Relax.
You have plenty of time and this person in front of you is really very interesting. Never hurry. Wait until you are sure the other person has said all there is to be said. Those silences while you wait to see if there's more to come are your most powerful technique. Most people cannot resist filling them -- often with all the things they knew they ought not to mention.
Smile. Relax. Wait. It will all come pouring out.
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