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Atricle Dump - Mind Your Own Business: Dealing with Bossy Co-Workers
Are you in dire need of new and update equipment for your business, but can't get enough money to buy new stuff? An easy and simple answer is to buy refurbished laptops. Why you ask? The first and foremost reason is you can save over half the retail price of a new notebook computer and still get the same great quality you expect.Refurbished laptops are generally about a year, or less in age and still can perform just like new. The benefit to your business is you can update and save money at the same time. What could be better?Almost everyone's business involves computers. Now with a laptop computer you can take your office with you on the road while you travel. Easily stay
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she respo
Many people wish to help entrepreneurs get started and become successful. Of course if you have never run a business before, well it can be tough indeed. Now then if one were to use a little creativity to apply themselves then it might be possible to help a whole lot of people fairly easily you see?Often retired business people say that they want to help people run their own businesses right? Well this can be done easily and so perhaps you can find a couple of similar business people and put together an eBook on successful business operations for start-ups and ideas for achieving goals and success?One you make the eBook once you can keep selling it or giving it away. You will simp
"I have a co-worker, Karen, who is so annoying. She's always giving advice that is intrusive and demeaning. She thinks she knows everything, she's overworked and misunderstood, and nothing is ever her fault. The biggest problem is that she's always telling me how I should do my job, even though she has no supervisory authority over me. A few days ago, when I got off the phone, Karen asked me who I was talking to, and when I asked her why she wanted to know, she acted offended and said, ‘Well, excuse me for asking!' I already feel insecure enough about my job, and I don't need her questions and accusations. Nobody likes to be around this woman. How can I deal with her without offending her?"
When we don't have enough of what we really want-Real Love-we feel empty, powerless, and alone, and we absolutely have to fill that emptiness with something that will relieve our pain. Your co-worker—Karen—tells you what she knows about everything because all her life she has noticed that other people pay attention to her in a positive way only when she's smart and helpful and in control. She tries to control you because that's when she feels powerful and important. Most of this is not conscious on her part, and you can be certain that she acts this way with almost everyone in her life, not just you. In the absence of sufficient real Love, this is how she gets enough of the imitation love that briefly gives her satisfaction.
Now, when Karen is controlling and attacking you, what's your reaction? It's only natural that you would tend to defend yourself and get irritated, but the instant you Do that you're communicating to her that you don't care about her happiness, and she feels that. Without realizing it, this woman is begging for someone to love her, and—again without meaning to—you respond by telling her that you don't care about her. That's a problem, because you actually make her feel even more empty and afraid, and then she's even more likely to be manipulative, defensive, and controllin when she's around you. It becomes a self-reinforcing cycle of Getting and Protecting Behaviors. What a drag.
Admittedly, Karen is tough to love when she behaves as she does, but that's exactly what she needs. Remember, her behaviors are Getting and Protecting Behaviors, which are only a response to a lack of Real Love in her life. If someone can bring more Real Love into her life, that can make all the difference, and you just might be the person to do that. Actually, you can change the situation dramatically simply by recognizing her need for Real Love.
So now-past recognizing her need—what can you actually do to help her? A lot, it turns out. You see, right now she is manipulating and controlling you for the attention she's getting from you. Unfortunately, the moment she does anything to get your attention or approval or a sense of power from you, anything she gets in response counts for nothing. Why? Because deep down she knows she had to manipulate you for it.
Let me illustrate. What if I held a gun to your head and forced you to come to lunch with me and spend an hour with me. Sure, I'd have your attention, but would it be genuinely satisfying? No, because I'd know that I had to force you to give me that attention. What you give me counts only when you give it freely, without any manipulation.
It's the same with your co-worker. She is so empty and alone, and she responds by manipulating people for attention. But the moment she manipulates people, the attention feels worthless. So what does she do? She manipulates even more, but that doesn't work either.
What's the solution?: She needs attention that is offered unconditionally, lovingly. For example, every time you see Karen, you could go out of your way to say something kind, or to ask how she's doing. When it's offered freely, the slightest gesture can have an enormous effect. Ask about her family, her pet, whatever. Tell her what's going on with you. You don't need to spend enormous quantities of time with her, but as you show her a genuine and consistent concern, it's quite likely that her emptiness and fear will diminish, and as that happens her behavior toward you will change. If you are insincere as you do this, however—if you are nice to her for the purpose of trying to change her behavior, to get her to be nice to you in return, for example—she'll feel your manipulation.
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she respon
Are you ready for the changes that are coming or are you stuck in your paradigms refusing to see that there may be another way to look at things?Let me give you 2 simple examples:1.The population is getting older. Over 70 million baby boomers are hitting their fifties and sixties. What will they want, need or be interested in the next few years? How will they want to buy? What will prevent them from buying? Example: Technology is getting faster and faster and smaller and smaller. If hand-helds or telephones get any smaller, whew… I can hardly read the screens now, even with my glasses. If my computer gets any faster my mind won’t be able to keep up with it. If the available amou
Now, when Karen is controlling and attacking you, what's your reaction? It's only natural that you would tend to defend yourself and get irritated, but the instant you Do that you're communicating to her that you don't care about her happiness, and she feels that. Without realizing it, this woman is begging for someone to love her, and—again without meaning to—you respond by telling her that you don't care about her. That's a problem, because you actually make her feel even more empty and afraid, and then she's even more likely to be manipulative, defensive, and controllin when she's around you. It becomes a self-reinforcing cycle of Getting and Protecting Behaviors. What a drag.
Admittedly, Karen is tough to love when she behaves as she does, but that's exactly what she needs. Remember, her behaviors are Getting and Protecting Behaviors, which are only a response to a lack of Real Love in her life. If someone can bring more Real Love into her life, that can make all the difference, and you just might be the person to do that. Actually, you can change the situation dramatically simply by recognizing her need for Real Love.
So now-past recognizing her need—what can you actually do to help her? A lot, it turns out. You see, right now she is manipulating and controlling you for the attention she's getting from you. Unfortunately, the moment she does anything to get your attention or approval or a sense of power from you, anything she gets in response counts for nothing. Why? Because deep down she knows she had to manipulate you for it.
Let me illustrate. What if I held a gun to your head and forced you to come to lunch with me and spend an hour with me. Sure, I'd have your attention, but would it be genuinely satisfying? No, because I'd know that I had to force you to give me that attention. What you give me counts only when you give it freely, without any manipulation.
It's the same with your co-worker. She is so empty and alone, and she responds by manipulating people for attention. But the moment she manipulates people, the attention feels worthless. So what does she do? She manipulates even more, but that doesn't work either.
What's the solution?: She needs attention that is offered unconditionally, lovingly. For example, every time you see Karen, you could go out of your way to say something kind, or to ask how she's doing. When it's offered freely, the slightest gesture can have an enormous effect. Ask about her family, her pet, whatever. Tell her what's going on with you. You don't need to spend enormous quantities of time with her, but as you show her a genuine and consistent concern, it's quite likely that her emptiness and fear will diminish, and as that happens her behavior toward you will change. If you are insincere as you do this, however—if you are nice to her for the purpose of trying to change her behavior, to get her to be nice to you in return, for example—she'll feel your manipulation.
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she respo
Getting sales leads is vital to every business. Every business has to have customers; and prospective clients are what they identify as sales leads. Even the teenage girl who is eyeing some fashionable clothes in a magazine can be considered a sales lead. The typical sales leads, however, are those that have the potential to be customers whom sales people get in touch with in many ways, several times before they jump into conclusions in buying and procuring the company’s product or service. For many years now, sales people have had a hard time generating sales leads.1. Great Potential For LeadsWhat they don’t know is that they do not go or visit some places that have great potenti
Admittedly, Karen is tough to love when she behaves as she does, but that's exactly what she needs. Remember, her behaviors are Getting and Protecting Behaviors, which are only a response to a lack of Real Love in her life. If someone can bring more Real Love into her life, that can make all the difference, and you just might be the person to do that. Actually, you can change the situation dramatically simply by recognizing her need for Real Love.
So now-past recognizing her need—what can you actually do to help her? A lot, it turns out. You see, right now she is manipulating and controlling you for the attention she's getting from you. Unfortunately, the moment she does anything to get your attention or approval or a sense of power from you, anything she gets in response counts for nothing. Why? Because deep down she knows she had to manipulate you for it.
Let me illustrate. What if I held a gun to your head and forced you to come to lunch with me and spend an hour with me. Sure, I'd have your attention, but would it be genuinely satisfying? No, because I'd know that I had to force you to give me that attention. What you give me counts only when you give it freely, without any manipulation.
It's the same with your co-worker. She is so empty and alone, and she responds by manipulating people for attention. But the moment she manipulates people, the attention feels worthless. So what does she do? She manipulates even more, but that doesn't work either.
What's the solution?: She needs attention that is offered unconditionally, lovingly. For example, every time you see Karen, you could go out of your way to say something kind, or to ask how she's doing. When it's offered freely, the slightest gesture can have an enormous effect. Ask about her family, her pet, whatever. Tell her what's going on with you. You don't need to spend enormous quantities of time with her, but as you show her a genuine and consistent concern, it's quite likely that her emptiness and fear will diminish, and as that happens her behavior toward you will change. If you are insincere as you do this, however—if you are nice to her for the purpose of trying to change her behavior, to get her to be nice to you in return, for example—she'll feel your manipulation.
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she respo
This is the first in a series of short articles about understanding why customer focus is strategically important, what it means to be truly customer-focused and how to create or improve customer focus in your organization. This article presents a simple business case for the strategic importance of creating greater customer focus. Many excerpts are taken from the book, That’s Customer Focus! We hope you find in interesting and helpful.Most of you will probably recognize this soliloquy from Shakespeare’s Hamlet To be, or not to be: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,ing. Why? Because deep down she knows she had to manipulate you for it.
Let me illustrate. What if I held a gun to your head and forced you to come to lunch with me and spend an hour with me. Sure, I'd have your attention, but would it be genuinely satisfying? No, because I'd know that I had to force you to give me that attention. What you give me counts only when you give it freely, without any manipulation.
It's the same with your co-worker. She is so empty and alone, and she responds by manipulating people for attention. But the moment she manipulates people, the attention feels worthless. So what does she do? She manipulates even more, but that doesn't work either.
What's the solution?: She needs attention that is offered unconditionally, lovingly. For example, every time you see Karen, you could go out of your way to say something kind, or to ask how she's doing. When it's offered freely, the slightest gesture can have an enormous effect. Ask about her family, her pet, whatever. Tell her what's going on with you. You don't need to spend enormous quantities of time with her, but as you show her a genuine and consistent concern, it's quite likely that her emptiness and fear will diminish, and as that happens her behavior toward you will change. If you are insincere as you do this, however—if you are nice to her for the purpose of trying to change her behavior, to get her to be nice to you in return, for example—she'll feel your manipulation.
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she respo
Influence MappingINTRODUCTIONWe have all worked in large organisations and the larger they are, the more a knowledge of the internal politics and unofficial communications systems is of value in surviving and making progress.For people outside the organisation who are trying to get things done within the organisation, the situation is twice as bad because they not only have to figure out the official hierarchy and communication channels, but also the unofficial ones.Most good sales people develop an instinct for how to learn the politics of a client organisation, but once they get beyond a certain size it is very difficult to be properly e
Of course, it is also possible that she will take your kindness as an invitation to be even more intrusive. Not likely, but if that happens, you do not have to be a doormat. You can openly tell her that at this point in your career, criticism is just too hard for you to hear. It's too distracting, so you need her to keep her comments about your performance to herself. She'll be able to hear that better if you make it all about you, not her. , even if her comments are accurate. You're not blaming her, just telling her what you are comfortable with. If she is still offended, remember that she is reacting to the many years of emptiness and fear that existed long before she ever met you. Even if she responds badly to your attempts at kindness, you will still feel much happier yourself than if you were defensive and angry.
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